The Reverse of the King
by Faramir Fancier
Summary: All right! It's the third installment! Go read 'The Great Role Reversal' and 'Revers'd' So you understand it! But, here it is! Much craziness, insanity, and general humor to be found within! Read and Review! Comtains everyone's favorite characters!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Introducing the Reverse of the King!!! In the words of Catie, the Room-mate from...wherever..."This'll be just like seeing Orlando in Pirates of the Caribbean but ten times cooler because he's in a SKIRT!! Dear, I hope he's got shorts on under that.." Yeah, so by drawing weird comparisons to real-life, we make this uber-funny and entertaining! This installment should be of good lenght, but if not, there's always the next installment, part 4.

**Disclaimer: **I own not LotR or anything relating to it!! Some day I'll get that cardboard Faramir cutout...but not today. I only own my plot lines. Plot lines!!

**Boromir**: Aragorn

**Frodo** Gimli

**Gandalf** Pippin

**Gimli** Sam

**Legolas** Frodo

**Merry** Merry

**Pippin** Legolas

**Sam** Gandalf

**Denethor** Eowyn

**Eomer** Denethor

**Eowyn** Theoden

**Theoden** Eomer

**Gollum** Gollum

* * *

_**The Reverse of the King**_

_**Chapter One: The Highway to Hell...I mean Isengard**_

"No stop signs, speed limits...I'm on a HIGHWAY TO HELL!!" Boromir and Denethor sing.

"Stairway to Heaven!!!" Pippin and Frodo scream.

"I'm on a HIGHWAY TO HELL!!! HIGHWAY TO HELL!! OOOOOH YEAH A HIGHWAY TO HELL!!" Denethor and Boromir scream, causing everyone en route to Isengard to cover their ears.

"I thought we were going to Edoras! Not Isengard!" Pippin whines.

"Oh, shut up! Anyway, we kind of have to, because I need to yell at Sauruman." Sam says gleefully.

"Oh, well, I guess that works." Denethor says.

_Meanwhile, at Isengard..._

"Well, this stinks! Everybody's coming here to yell at me? That SUCKS!!" Sauruman yells.

"Hey, I'll switch places with you!" Grima says.

"All right, but just because I'm nice." Sauruman says, gleefully jumping around.

So the two switch spots. Then, the Edoras Company arrive, plus Denethor, who is being Eowyn, because I have no other mission for her (him) so here he (she) is!!!

"Hey! It's my friends!!" Gandalf says.

"HEY!! OVER HERE!!"

"MERRY!!! PIPPIN!!!" Pippin says.

"That just sounded weird..."

"Sorry. Anyway, let's go!"

The Edoras Group rides over towards Merry and Gandalf.

"Hey, guys! It's been what, a month?" Merry says, casually smoking his pipe.

"Isn't it Red Ribbon Week? Shouldn't you NOT be smoking pot?" Denethor askes pointedly.

"So? What are you going to do about it, you pussy?"

"Merry! Don't be so crude! It's PG13!" Gandalf says.

"So? It's true, though! He's a cross-dressing, homosexual pussy!" Merry says, staring at Denethor, who faints and falls off his horse and into the murky water.

"Merry, maybe you should give up pot. It's for the best." Gandalf says, as Merry screams.

"Is he insane?"

"Yep, pretty much."

Sam pulls Denethor out of the water and tosses him back on his horse.

"Well, that solves that, y'know?" Sam says, as the group rides on towards the tower of Orthanc.

"Hey, Gandy! Long time no see, home fry!" Treebeard says.

"Uh, I'm Pippin. That's Gandalf." Gandalf says.

"So, fo real? Welcome to Sauruman's hiz-ouse, fo shizzle!" Treebeard says.

"Uh, dude, why are you talking like that?" Sam asks.

"Because, dawg, it's over the top! Totally cool! Fo sho!" Treebeard says.

"Uhhuh. Just take us to..." Denethor starts, but is cut off by something.

"Oooooh! Shiny! Shiney shiney shiney!" He says, sliding off his horse and into the water.

"Mine!" Gandalf says, fighting with Denethor over the shiny object. Much slapping and name-calling ensues.

"Hey! Gimme!" Sam says, whapping Denethor sensless with his staff.

"Ouch..."

The group then heads for Edoras, their thoughts taken away from the shiny object...for now....

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A/N: I know there's not much Grima or Sauruman, who have switched and are going at the top of the Page, but they'll pop in and out of chapters, mostly disturbing the peace and commenting with Aragorn. Yeah! Review if you like, all flames (or stuff like it) will be given to Denethor for enjoyment. 


	2. Edoras Parties and Palantirs

A/N: Well, I'm back, after a while. Yeah...uh. Here we all are. I hope you all like this edition. This story is a bit more...freaky, so if you don't like people hitting on others or anything like that, just go away.

**Boromir**: Aragorn

**Frodo** Gimli

**Gandalf** Pippin

**Gimli** Sam

**Legolas** Frodo

**Merry** Merry

**Pippin** Legolas

**Sam** Gandalf

**Denethor** Eowyn

**Eomer** Denethor

**Eowyn** Theoden

**Theoden** Eomer

**Gollum** Gollum

**Saruman** Grima Wormtongue

**Grima Wormtongue** Saruman

* * *

_**Chapter Two: The Edoras Bachelor Party.**_

_In Edoras..._

"So, Legolas, want to have a drinking Contest?" Theoden, who is playing Eomer, asks Pippin.

"Er, sure!" Pippin, playing Legolas, says.

"Cool! HEY! 'Nuther round over here!"

"Just to say, old man, you're going down!"

The bar person returns with 2 large tankards of ale.

"Bottoms up!"

Pippin and Theoden quickly attempt to down the 2 tankards.

"Hey! I want in!" Merry says. "I face winner!"

The two are quickly done, and they both finished in the same amount of time.

"'Nuther round, please!" Theoden says.

Soon, Merry is also joining in on the contest.

"Hey, dudes, watcha doin?" Eowyn asks.

"Drinking!" Merry says.

"Get me a round!" Eowyn says.

The bar person runs back with another round for the 4 of them.

"Aah, Rohirrim Ale!" everyone sighs.

"Hey, men, what're you doing?" Denethor walks over.

"Er, getting drunk."

"Count me in!"

So the bar person returns with a glass for Denethor.

"Hey, dudes!" Frodo and Sam say.

"Hello!"

"What's going on?"

"We're getting drunk."

"Hey, fellow men!" Boromir and Gandalf says.

"Get us all a round, ok?"

So Gandalf, Boromir, Frodo, and Sam sit down with Merry, Pippin, Theoden, Eowyn, and Denethor and precede to get drunk...

_"/Hic/ _that was /_Hic_/ good!"

"Hey, let's /_hic_/ just go find the /_hic_/ storage barrels and /_hic_/ hijack them."Denethor says

"/_Hic_/ ok!"

So the already drunk people stagger out to the ale-storage barrels in the back."

"Ooh, so ale-y!" Pippin says.

So all the people kind of, well, just, like...get..drunker than they are...and with that some weird things happen...

"Did I ever tell you about the time /_Hic_/ me an' Faramir went to some /_hic_/ nightclub in Minas Tirith and kind of, /_hic_/, er, met some people?" Boromir says.

"Nah, ye sure didn't!" Frodo says, swaying.

"Hey, there, sexy, who might you be?" Denethor asks Eowyn.

"Hey, hottie, I'm Eowyn...I mean Theoden...I mean Eowyn..."

"I'm Eowyn...I mean Denethor... Wanna stop by my /_hic_/ house?"

"Why wait? /_HIC_!/" Eowyn says.

"Er..."

"Hey, whass goin' on wit the old guy?"

"Is that Eowyn?"

"Oooh, naughty naughty people!" Pippin says, looking at Denethor and Eowyn, who have started Making-out (EEEEEWWW!)

"What?" Denethor says.

"Eew, isn't he pretending to be Eowyn and she's Eowyn?"

"Eeew, that's disturbing..." Merry says, puking.

"Dude..."

"Can they kind of...stop...I mean, I have a sensitive stomach..."

"Ok, people, let's stop before some stuff happens we don't want to see /_hic hic hic hic hic_!/" Gandalf says.

"Ok, Denethor, let's let the poor shieldmaiden go..."

"But she hit on me first!"

"Oh, sure, that's why you called her sexy."

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm a stud muffin!" Denethor protests.

"Did you ever noticed we're all a bit disturbed??"

"Why has everyone stopped talking like drunks?"

"Good question, Pippin!"

"Hey..."

So now that everyone has stopped getting/talking like drunks...

"So...what's happening?"

"Hmm...where's that Palantir? I have a strange desire to just take it and hold it."

"Well, Sam's keeping it well-gaurded. I mean Sam-dalf."

"SAMDALF! That's funny! Let's all start calling him that!"

"Ok.." so everyone marches inside to bother Samdalf.

"Hey!"

"SSSSH!!! People are SLEEPING!" says Angry Rohan Dude 1.

"Sor-RY!"

So they all kind of just pull up sleeping bags and sleep..

"Hmm..now'd be a good time..." Gandalf says, crawling over towards Samdalf (Sam).

"Pippin! I mean, Gandalf!" Merry says.

"What?"

_Meanwhile, outside Edoras..._

"Something evil lurks here, I think. A shadow in the east or something, a sleepless malice. Is Sauron an insomniac?" Pippin (Lego-pip, remember?) says.

"Hmm. Dunno, Pip. I mean, maybe. And what are you talking about, evil being here? Unless you mean Gandalf. He's a bit off his rocker." Boromir muses. "And perhaps Sauron is an insomniac. If I ever see him, I'll ask."

"You'd do that for me? Little old adorable hobbit-y elfish me?" Pippin says.

"Well, I mean, maybe..." Boromir says.

"Hey! He's here!" Pippin screams, running into the hall, a confused Boromir following him.

Gandalf has been looking at the palantir, and has finally gotten hold of it and has started to look into it, which is pretty bad.

"Gandalf Pippin! Put it BACK!" Merry says, but it is too late.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Gandalf screams, writhing on the floor in pain.

"Pippin! Gandalf! Someone help!" Merry screams, as Boromir and Pippin run in. Samdalf (Sam) wakes up at that moment.

"Fool of a Tookish Wizard!"

Boromir runs in and tries to pry the palantir from Gandalf's hands, but it's no use and he just faints from over exposure to something so evil. Pippin catches him but ends up being dragged down by Boromir.

Finally the palantir rolls away and everyone is fine...except Gandalf.

"Gandalf! Wake up, man! GANDALF!"

"Maybe we should leave him that way.."

"Help him, Samdalf!"

"What's with this Samdalf business?"

"Dunno..."

So Sam helps Gandalf wake up, which is a bit weird. Gandalf recovers, and says...

"Boromir, your homeland is under attack! Talk about dry tinder, that freakin white tree is being burned to the ground, along with the city! AND THE EYE WAS THERE!!"

All this just causes Boromir to faint.

* * *

A/N: Check back soon for Legolas and Gimli and other parts of the movie! 


	3. Going to Minas Tirith!

A/N: Hello, hello! It's spiffity chapter 3! Yay for us all! Ok, here we go...

**Boromir**: Aragorn

**Frodo** Gimli

**Gandalf** Pippin

**Gimli** Sam

**Legolas** Frodo

**Merry** Merry

**Pippin** Legolas

**Sam** Gandalf

**Denethor** Eowyn

**Eomer** Denethor

**Eowyn** Theoden

**Theoden** Eomer

**Gollum** Gollum

* * *

_**Chapter Three: Minas Tirith: City of...Chicken Wings??**_

"Ok, Peregrin Took, you are under trial for abuse of a Palantir, and stealing of the said palantir from Samdalf the Off-White." Eowyn says.

"Huh? Man, I didn't do anything!" Gandalf whines.

"LIAR! Anyway, Samdalf requests that you acompany him to Minas Tirith. Should you go, you will be granted a pardon and also will get a major part in the upcoming war. How do you plead?"

"Ok, Ok, I'll go!"

"Good! Samdalf and Pippin, carry on!"

The two run out to the stables, where Sam struggles to get up on Shadowfax and Gandalf has an easy time of it.

"All right, Merry. This is where we part." Gandalf says, crying.

"Can't say I'm that sad..."

"What?"

"I said man, that's really bad..."

"Anyway, I'll see you soon?"

"Perhaps...here have some longbottom leaf."

"OOOH! Goody goody! How'd you know I was out?"

"Because. Gandalf, you smoke too much."

"Coming from you, that means so much."

"Ha ha ha."

Samdalf and Gandalf leave, riding towards Minas Tirith. Merry pushes his way out of the stables and runs to the top of some...building. Boromir chases after him, screaming about the dangers or running up stairs and how he could break his neck.

"Shut up, Boromir! I'm going through an emotionally trying time, here!"

"Really?"

"No! Good thing that old coot's gone. He was scaring me!"

"Ok. Let's get back to the building, Eowyn's making soup and I'm hungry!"

"You're actually going to eat his soup??"

"No! I'm going to throw it at his face."

"Make sure Theoden don't eat any. It's enough to kill you!"

"Don't let him hear you say that!"

The two walk back inside, muttering about soup.

Denethor is hunched over a small fire, carefully adding salt to the soup.

"There! Now it's perfect!" He says, smiling and stepping back.

"Uh, dude what are you doing?"

"Soup?"

_Meanwhile, with Sam and Gandalf..._

"Dude, I can't see with your head in the way!"

"Well, sor-ry!"

The two ride on towards Minas Tirith, city of kings.

"Er...why does that sign say 'Minas Tirith, City of Chicken Wings'??"

"Hmmm. Must have something to do with the new Steward..."

The two ride up the 7 levels of Minas Tirith as scared civilians duck into doorways to escape the terror of Samdalf and Gandalf, both of them high on something.

"Hehehehe! Look, the 7th level! The Level of Kings!"

But the sign says, "7th Level:Level of Chicken Wings".

The two dismount and walk up to the door.

"Now, Gandalf, I know that's the tree, I know you saw the city burning, but don't mention the dream, Aragorn/Boromir, the death of Boromir/Aragorn, or the Ring."

"Got it, chief."

They walk inside, Sam's walking stick making much noise on the nicely tiled floor.

"Hail...er...Eomer...son of...someone...lord and Steward of Gondor..."

"Hey, little buddy! How're you? Nice to see you!"

"Er...I have tidings...things are changing...peopel are unhappy with Monarchy...the anarchists have taken Rohan..."

"WHAT? What are you saying?"

"Sorry, I got the wrong script...cursed Literature novels.... Anyway, the enemy is on your doorstep, unfortunately. " Sam says.

"What about Boromir? He was the best fighter Gondor's ever seen!"

"Well, Boromir is playing Aragorn. Aragorn, playing Boromir, died to save me and Merry." Gandalf says.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU??" Sam yells at Gandalf.

"Sorry..."

"Wait! What?"

"Well, Aragorn was trying to take the ring from Legolas, and then Legolas put on the Ring. Some fighting ensued, and then Aragorn was killed. It was sad." Gandalf says. "I offer you my service."

"Get up!" Sam says.

"No...he's funny! Very well, you can join the army! I guess..."

"My lord! Is that wise??" says Gondorian Worry-wart No. 1.

"Who's the Steward here??" Eomer says. "And tell that low-life Faramir to get his behind back in Minas Tirith, with Osgiliath safely secured!"

"Yes, sir!"

"We'll just be off, then..." Sam says, leading Gandalf out. Eomer kind of...sits there.

* * *

A/N: In the next chapter, we'll see what Faramir's been up to in a long chapter. Then, Grima, Saruman, and Aragorn will appear, with the chapter on Legolas and Gimli. Next we'll see the Reforging of the Sword and other fun stuff with the peoples of Rohan. Keep them reviews coming! I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!If you celebrate it, that is. Otherwise, happy Last Thursday in November!! 


	4. What's been going on

A/N: Hello, and welcome to the Reverse of the King Chapter 4!!! Yay! Anyway, we'll see exactly what's been going on with Faramir in Osgiliath. In our next episode we'll catch up with Legolas and Gimli.

**Boromir **Aragorn

**Frodo** Gimli

**Gandalf** Pippin

**Gimli** Sam

**Legolas** Frodo

**Merry** Merry

**Pippin** Legolas

**Sam** Gandalf

**Denethor** Eowyn

**Eomer** Denethor

**Eowyn** Theoden

**Theoden** Eomer

**Gollum** Gollum

**Saruman** Grima Wormtongue

**Grima Wormtongue** Saruman

* * *

_**Chapter Four: What's going on over that River there?**_

_In Osgiliath..._

"Hey, anyone hear that suspicious noise coming from over yonder?" Asks Ranger 4.

"It's the ORCS! They're here to kill me!" Faramir wails, pounding his head against a rock wall.

"It's OK, sir, we'll get through this." Ranger 3 says comsolingly.

"No we won't!"

"Sir, we've got scouts in Cair Andros, so we've got warning from the north." Says Ithilien Ranger Leader Dude (IRLD).

Suddenly, a Ranger gets shot with an Arrow!

"They're not coming from the north! HELLO!!" Faramir says, handing out swords and running to the River.

"Faster and draw swords, you scurvy dogs!" Says Gothmog, who will now be called Blown Up Peep Dude.

"Uh, since when did you become a pirate captain?" asks Orc 1.

"Since today!" Blown Up Peep Dude says.

"Good enough." Orc 1 says.

"Hurry, to the River!" Faramir says.

"Please don't kill me!" Ranger 6 says, praying to the Valar above.

"Oh, grow up!" Ranger 2 says.

Suddenly the Orcs start pouring in.

"RARRRRRRRRRRR!" Faramir yells, jumping out and stabbing some Orcs.

Soon, a massive battle is happening and there's much blood and gore. Yay. Unfortunately, the Orc Slaughter turns and it soon becomes a Ranger Slaughter. Among the dead (and/or dying) is IRLD.

"Hahahaa! The Age of Men is Over!! The Age of the Orc is here! PARTY!" says Blown Up Peep Dude.

Faramir and Co. ride back to Minas Tirith. Unfortunately, the Nazgul appear. Right at the very second.

Sam and Gandalf (Samdalf and Pippin) ride out of the gate, Sam cursing about the Nazgul having to show up NOW!

"Come on, you damn walking staff thing, TURN ON, DANGNABBIT!"

"SAM! All you have to do is thwunk it against your head!" Gandalf says.

"Thanks!" Sam says, thwunking the staff over Gandalf's head.

"Ouch..."

The Gandalf Flashlight turns on and scares away the Nazgul.

"Good show, Samdalf!" Gandalf yells.

They ride in the Gate of Minas Tirith and soon Faramir comes up to Gandalf.

"Mithrandir! They took the bridge and the west bank." Faramir says.

"That's interesting..." Sam says.

"Wait...he's Gandalf." Faramir says, pointing to Gandalf.

"Actually, I'm a Hobbit." Gandalf says.

"Yeah, I'm Gandalf." Sam says.

"Oi vay." Faramir says. "Well, anyway, Gandalf and...his hobbit friend...they broke through our defenses. The city is lost, etc. etc."

"Thank you." Sam says.

"Oh, by the by, are you in cahoots with a freakishly pansy Elf and a dwarf in need of Anger management?" Faramir asks.

"Why, yes we are! Frodolas and Samli!" Sam says cheerfully.

"Frodolas and Samli?" Faramir asks, looking scared.

"Well, their real names are Legolas and Gimli, but they're playing the part of Sam and Frodo, so they're Frodolas and Samli."

"And who might you be?"

"Well, I'm Samdalf, and this is..."

"Gandalf. I got the part of Pippin. NOT FUN!" Gandalf whines.

"Is this why my 'father' is now Eomer of the Mark and my real father is running about being a crossdresser?" Faramir asks.

"Exactly." Sam says.

"Well, if that's not disturbing with a capital D, I don't know what is."

"By the way, what's up with Frodolas and Samli?" Sam asks.

"They took the road to the Morgul Vale."

"WHAT?" Gandalf yells.

"Is that bad or something?" Sam asks.

"Hot Hellfire it's bad!"

"Faramir, can you tell us everything?" Sam asks.

_A few moments later..._

"So, wait, lemme get this straight...you sent the Ring...into Mordor...in the hands...of a freakishly pansy Elvish prince with a confused sexual identity and a dwarf in need of anger management??" Eomer says.

"Well, yeah." Faramir says.

"Oi vay, my 'son' is STUPID!" Eomer screams.

"Well, what would you have me do?"

"Bring the Ring BACK! DUR!" Eomer yells.

"Well, SORRY for not wanting to get corrupted today!" Faramir yells back.

"You know what? You're a MOPE! You're brother, what's his face, that Aragorn/Boromir person (Let's call him Aramir) would have brought it back!"

"Uh, he would have taken this thing for his own and if he came back you wouldn't have known him!" Faramir says.

"YEAH RIGHT!" Eomer yells, but his ulcers start to kick in and he goes delirius!! He sees Aramir (aka Aragorn) over Faramir's shoulder. Aragorn is having a wild n' crazy time in the Islands, doing the Limbo with some hot dead chicks.

"ARAMIR!! ARAGORN!!!" Eomer yells.

"Uh..."

"GET OUT, YOU FOOL!" Eomer screams, ordering a 500 piece bucket of chicken wings from KFC Minas Tirith.

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A/N: I hope you liked this issue. Sorry for taking so darn long with it. Anyway, I love the phrase 'oi vay' (it's sheer genius!). Anyway, if you care to leave a review, go right ahead. I shall be eternally grateful.


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